Our second day in Guilin we had another full day planed. Colin was able to hook us up with an English tour group for a boat cruise down the Li River to Yangshao. The saying is, “Guilin is the most beautiful place in china, and Yangshao is the most beautiful part of Guilin.” So expectations were high! We were the first ones on the bus at the butt crack of dawn. For some reason the second we picked up another blonde foreigner I was suddenly a social butterfly. China’s blonde obsession had rubbed off on me. There was a guy about our age working at the world expo and taking a short break with his Dad and sister. His name was…. Umm maybe I am not so good at the introductions we referred to him as Mr. Finland. He said he had been in China for about 4months so he had pretty much master the language, I laughed assuming it was a joke. But then he started talking to the driver in prefect Chinese and I was shocked. Especially since it has taken me 2 months to master hello and thank you! It wasn’t until I heard him translating the tour guides English into Finnish that I realized he had master at least 3 languages and I was way behind. Every foreigner in China is expected to know English. If I thought it was hard getting around with peoples broken English, I can’t imagine if English was my 2nd language! The next couple was an American guy, Dave and his Chinese girl friend. Over the course of the next 3hour boat cruise, we learned that Dave moved to China a few years about to run the Chinese factory for his company. He taught English to his coworkers on his lunch break.
The most interesting reflection he made on his time in China was when we were sharing the feel goods of the instant respect we receive as white Americans in China. He said that you have to ask yourself what you have done to earn this respect. Have you changed and become better, or is it just the situation? And for him, he loves the situation. I really had to think about it, a very humbling thought. Why should I suddenly become so proud of my blonde hair and light skin? If that is all I am doing to affect the people around me, than I am not doing anything for the American stereotype. I want this experience to change me and make me better, not by giving me an ego boost but by showing me what I have to give. I have to find ways to show I am humble and kind; fighting against the Chinese assumptions.
Oh by the way the Li River, amazing! Its like they cut into the mountain side, the water is so clear we could see the fish swimming underneath us. We passed the famous mountain view that is printed that the Chinese 20 dollar bill. The boat dropped us off at the “hello market”. The streets are lined with venders that true to the name say, “Hello” to every foreigner urging you to buy the same skin scarf from them that the last 20 vendors already tried to sell you. We were giving a hand drawn map on the back of a napkin with the instructions to meet at the KFC in 1 hour for the next part of our tour. The endless rows of venders blocked our turn and before we knew it, we were completely off our napkin map. I found the situation funny because our tour guide told us, “be there or be square.” To which we replied, “we will not be square!” So I laughed at my cheesy joke that we were gonna be square and in big trouble! Heidi on the other hand started to freak out. Showing our sad little map to anyone who looked friendly and asking for help in her best Chinese only to get laughed at. So at this point we are running short on time and literally jogging through the streets weaving through the crowds. We do a little victory dance when we see the magical KFC logo in the distance, which was short lived after running into 3 dead ends. We could see it but couldn’t get to it. Finally we looked pitiful enough that someone didn’t have the heart to laugh at our sad little map and broken Chinese and pointed us in the right direction. Fear not we were not square!
So a group of foreigners are assembled outside the KFC including our new friend Mr. Finland which instantly attracts all the mobile venders. Our wonderful next friend tells the vendors that attack him that no he doesn’t want to buy anything but she does, pointing at me! I asked him what the word for asshole was in Finnish! Every vender within a mile radius was surrounding me as he laughed at a distance. Not funny. I almost got separated from the tour group. So I decided it was time to make new friends that wouldn’t sick the beggars on me! There was a woman from Australia that was also teaching English in China that become my new traveling buddy. I taught her some useful Chinese phrases and felt very wise! Such as “Bu yao- don’t want!” when people try to sell you things and “Wo de Mi mi- my secrete!” when people ask you rude questions like how old are you? Or how much do you weigh? Which are common in China.
Our new tour guide was Young-Young and I loved him! His English was wonderful, but his phrases where priceless! We saw an old town near a famous bridge that all the Chinese romance movies are filmed from. He said take pictures now; I tell you later what it means. Being the rebellious punk I am I didn’t take pictures so his explanations later on the bus were that much funnier! So basically the history lesson I got was that a lot of the old houses were made of mud bricks which were symbolic of the Chinese revolution. Many were left without a roof or a haft way completed 2nd floor. His explanation was that everyone knows it’s, “no money, no Honey!” apparently a direct translation from the Chinese. Outside the houses there was some stump that symbolizes what class the family was in. You could only marry someone with the same size stump as you. Or if you married a lower class you would become the lower class and have to pay the family or something; that was one of the pictures I missed. Apparently the aids epidemic was wild in small town china so the government set up clinics in every town, I took a picture of the sign that translates, “for your health please use your government issued condom.” Thanks China!
Oh oh the next part was the best! We went on a bamboo raft! Like 8 pieces of bamboo tied together with 2 chairs in the middle and a little man with a stick rowing in the back. So everyone pills on to their raft and the people on the shore push us off once we get seated. I look over to see that my new Australian friends are floating around with no rower! So we all point and laugh while the Chinese men yell at each other about whose fault it is and jump from raft to raft to cover all the stations. They bring us into a circle where there is a man on a raft with 4 large birds. Apparently these birds are trained to caught fish. They put a small ring around their necks so that they can only eat the small fish. Otherwise the large fish get stuck in their mouths and the man grabs them by the neck and squeezes the live fish out and into a bucket! He was throw the birds into the water and pick them back up with his bamboo stick and let them sit on the raft. Weird, but fascinating. As everyone is struggling to leave without bumping into each other, Young-young bumper-boats over and yells, “Sorry I don’t know how to drive the boat; it’s my first time I usually say on the bus!” Yes that’s right. The tour guide jumped on one of the rafts that were unmanned thinking he could figure out. Talk about all other duties as assigned.
The raft was awesome! We took our shoes off and let the water run under our feet. The water was surprisingly warm water for a cool day. Everywhere you looked was like a postcard. The reflection of the mountains it the water was unreal and just then, when you thought it couldn’t get any better; the sunset! Me and Heidi snuggled up thinking about the wedding couple we had seen on a bamboo raft earlier in the formal gown and tux. I asked all the Chinese people, what about her dress! Its going to get ruined. The general consensus is, yes but its worth it! God, I love China! I closed my eyes wishing that Peach was there and I was in a bridal gown, strictly for the pictures of course. We giggled and said out loud how peaceful and relaxing it must be to live here. At the exact moment our rower man let out and exhausted sight. Lol maybe it was only relaxing for the tourists. And I had to wonder if he heard us?
So after a full and day of beautiful scenery we pill back on a bus for the long ride back to Guilin. We are told because there are so many tourist in Guilin that, “the traffic will be terrible and the trip may take 5 hours so sleeping is ok, you already got your money’s worth during the day!” Somehow the bus has shrunk while we were on the rafts and now 8 people including myself are left standing in the aisle. They discuss how this could have happened and decide that 8 volunteers will wait for a smaller bus. Since I am already standing I get off the bus. While Mr. Finland points and laughs. So Young-Young gets off too along with our new Aussie friends and an Irish couple. The Irish couple takes this opportunity to go find beer, always looking for the upside! They come back with 8 beers and pass them out to us. Young-Young says he doesn’t drink, another person offers him a cigarette while we are waiting and he says he doesn’t smoke. This is very odd in China as it seems everyone smokes, so we ask if it is a religious decision or a health reasons and he throws his hands up and says, “I don’t like It!” The Irish couple was shocked that anyone would not like the taste of beer, “it’s cheaper than water you know!” I found it hilarious it was like we had all made a circle around him and we were closing in on him in disbelief. 20 mins later plan B arrived and we piled in. Sipping our beers and chatting in the bus I find out that my new Aussie friend is going to do the rice fields tour as well. Our guide tells us the pickup information for the next morning. So he tells our friend he can’t pick her up outside her hotel because, “you know the big brother, he is watching at the hotel, he don’t let me in!” So they are going to pick her up across the street at some government building. When she asks how to find it he says, “look for the men with the big guns, that’s where you wanna be!” and she says, “umm no I don’t think that’s where I want to be! You want me to go up to someone and ask where the men with big guns are?” Maybe it was the beer but we were all rolling on the floor. So we figure out that for some reason we have different pick up times and must be on separate tours so she asks Young-young why and he fake whispers, “You are on the better tour, they are on the cheap one!” So I speak up and say while let’s talk about this. What do we have to do to get on the good tour? And he asks how much we paid for the tour, which Colin made us promise not to tell so I immediately snapped back, “pretty girl, pretty price!” My new friends loved it, even Young-young didn’t have a comeback.
After a quick bus ride home, the beer and laugher made the time go by faster, Young-Young gets a call that our original bus is still in Yangshao stuck in a huge traffic jam. We had snuck by on back roads in our minivan. Take that Mr. Finland!
The most interesting reflection he made on his time in China was when we were sharing the feel goods of the instant respect we receive as white Americans in China. He said that you have to ask yourself what you have done to earn this respect. Have you changed and become better, or is it just the situation? And for him, he loves the situation. I really had to think about it, a very humbling thought. Why should I suddenly become so proud of my blonde hair and light skin? If that is all I am doing to affect the people around me, than I am not doing anything for the American stereotype. I want this experience to change me and make me better, not by giving me an ego boost but by showing me what I have to give. I have to find ways to show I am humble and kind; fighting against the Chinese assumptions.
Oh by the way the Li River, amazing! Its like they cut into the mountain side, the water is so clear we could see the fish swimming underneath us. We passed the famous mountain view that is printed that the Chinese 20 dollar bill. The boat dropped us off at the “hello market”. The streets are lined with venders that true to the name say, “Hello” to every foreigner urging you to buy the same skin scarf from them that the last 20 vendors already tried to sell you. We were giving a hand drawn map on the back of a napkin with the instructions to meet at the KFC in 1 hour for the next part of our tour. The endless rows of venders blocked our turn and before we knew it, we were completely off our napkin map. I found the situation funny because our tour guide told us, “be there or be square.” To which we replied, “we will not be square!” So I laughed at my cheesy joke that we were gonna be square and in big trouble! Heidi on the other hand started to freak out. Showing our sad little map to anyone who looked friendly and asking for help in her best Chinese only to get laughed at. So at this point we are running short on time and literally jogging through the streets weaving through the crowds. We do a little victory dance when we see the magical KFC logo in the distance, which was short lived after running into 3 dead ends. We could see it but couldn’t get to it. Finally we looked pitiful enough that someone didn’t have the heart to laugh at our sad little map and broken Chinese and pointed us in the right direction. Fear not we were not square!
So a group of foreigners are assembled outside the KFC including our new friend Mr. Finland which instantly attracts all the mobile venders. Our wonderful next friend tells the vendors that attack him that no he doesn’t want to buy anything but she does, pointing at me! I asked him what the word for asshole was in Finnish! Every vender within a mile radius was surrounding me as he laughed at a distance. Not funny. I almost got separated from the tour group. So I decided it was time to make new friends that wouldn’t sick the beggars on me! There was a woman from Australia that was also teaching English in China that become my new traveling buddy. I taught her some useful Chinese phrases and felt very wise! Such as “Bu yao- don’t want!” when people try to sell you things and “Wo de Mi mi- my secrete!” when people ask you rude questions like how old are you? Or how much do you weigh? Which are common in China.
Our new tour guide was Young-Young and I loved him! His English was wonderful, but his phrases where priceless! We saw an old town near a famous bridge that all the Chinese romance movies are filmed from. He said take pictures now; I tell you later what it means. Being the rebellious punk I am I didn’t take pictures so his explanations later on the bus were that much funnier! So basically the history lesson I got was that a lot of the old houses were made of mud bricks which were symbolic of the Chinese revolution. Many were left without a roof or a haft way completed 2nd floor. His explanation was that everyone knows it’s, “no money, no Honey!” apparently a direct translation from the Chinese. Outside the houses there was some stump that symbolizes what class the family was in. You could only marry someone with the same size stump as you. Or if you married a lower class you would become the lower class and have to pay the family or something; that was one of the pictures I missed. Apparently the aids epidemic was wild in small town china so the government set up clinics in every town, I took a picture of the sign that translates, “for your health please use your government issued condom.” Thanks China!
Oh oh the next part was the best! We went on a bamboo raft! Like 8 pieces of bamboo tied together with 2 chairs in the middle and a little man with a stick rowing in the back. So everyone pills on to their raft and the people on the shore push us off once we get seated. I look over to see that my new Australian friends are floating around with no rower! So we all point and laugh while the Chinese men yell at each other about whose fault it is and jump from raft to raft to cover all the stations. They bring us into a circle where there is a man on a raft with 4 large birds. Apparently these birds are trained to caught fish. They put a small ring around their necks so that they can only eat the small fish. Otherwise the large fish get stuck in their mouths and the man grabs them by the neck and squeezes the live fish out and into a bucket! He was throw the birds into the water and pick them back up with his bamboo stick and let them sit on the raft. Weird, but fascinating. As everyone is struggling to leave without bumping into each other, Young-young bumper-boats over and yells, “Sorry I don’t know how to drive the boat; it’s my first time I usually say on the bus!” Yes that’s right. The tour guide jumped on one of the rafts that were unmanned thinking he could figure out. Talk about all other duties as assigned.
The raft was awesome! We took our shoes off and let the water run under our feet. The water was surprisingly warm water for a cool day. Everywhere you looked was like a postcard. The reflection of the mountains it the water was unreal and just then, when you thought it couldn’t get any better; the sunset! Me and Heidi snuggled up thinking about the wedding couple we had seen on a bamboo raft earlier in the formal gown and tux. I asked all the Chinese people, what about her dress! Its going to get ruined. The general consensus is, yes but its worth it! God, I love China! I closed my eyes wishing that Peach was there and I was in a bridal gown, strictly for the pictures of course. We giggled and said out loud how peaceful and relaxing it must be to live here. At the exact moment our rower man let out and exhausted sight. Lol maybe it was only relaxing for the tourists. And I had to wonder if he heard us?
So after a full and day of beautiful scenery we pill back on a bus for the long ride back to Guilin. We are told because there are so many tourist in Guilin that, “the traffic will be terrible and the trip may take 5 hours so sleeping is ok, you already got your money’s worth during the day!” Somehow the bus has shrunk while we were on the rafts and now 8 people including myself are left standing in the aisle. They discuss how this could have happened and decide that 8 volunteers will wait for a smaller bus. Since I am already standing I get off the bus. While Mr. Finland points and laughs. So Young-Young gets off too along with our new Aussie friends and an Irish couple. The Irish couple takes this opportunity to go find beer, always looking for the upside! They come back with 8 beers and pass them out to us. Young-Young says he doesn’t drink, another person offers him a cigarette while we are waiting and he says he doesn’t smoke. This is very odd in China as it seems everyone smokes, so we ask if it is a religious decision or a health reasons and he throws his hands up and says, “I don’t like It!” The Irish couple was shocked that anyone would not like the taste of beer, “it’s cheaper than water you know!” I found it hilarious it was like we had all made a circle around him and we were closing in on him in disbelief. 20 mins later plan B arrived and we piled in. Sipping our beers and chatting in the bus I find out that my new Aussie friend is going to do the rice fields tour as well. Our guide tells us the pickup information for the next morning. So he tells our friend he can’t pick her up outside her hotel because, “you know the big brother, he is watching at the hotel, he don’t let me in!” So they are going to pick her up across the street at some government building. When she asks how to find it he says, “look for the men with the big guns, that’s where you wanna be!” and she says, “umm no I don’t think that’s where I want to be! You want me to go up to someone and ask where the men with big guns are?” Maybe it was the beer but we were all rolling on the floor. So we figure out that for some reason we have different pick up times and must be on separate tours so she asks Young-young why and he fake whispers, “You are on the better tour, they are on the cheap one!” So I speak up and say while let’s talk about this. What do we have to do to get on the good tour? And he asks how much we paid for the tour, which Colin made us promise not to tell so I immediately snapped back, “pretty girl, pretty price!” My new friends loved it, even Young-young didn’t have a comeback.
After a quick bus ride home, the beer and laugher made the time go by faster, Young-Young gets a call that our original bus is still in Yangshao stuck in a huge traffic jam. We had snuck by on back roads in our minivan. Take that Mr. Finland!
:D loved the end of your story!
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