So this last weekend I experienced my first Chinese Wedding. I didn’t know what to expect, so I searched for the nicest dress I own. One of my Chinese friends asked me and Heidi both to accompany him to his friends “happiness day.” We asked if we were dressed ok when he picked us up and he was in a hurry since we were late so said yes and rushed us out of the door. I felt like a fool when we show up and everyone is in jeans as to not upstage the bride! She and the wedding party were at the entrance welcoming everyone. She saw us and said so beautiful! The bride isn’t supposed to tell anyone else they are beautiful! It is her day! She is supposed to be getting all the compliments!
So I find out that the actual ceremony is a small private event and everyone is invited to a dinner after to celebrate. The best part was the slide show of the wedding shots! I literally cried they were so beautiful. It was all the bride and groom running around China being in love! Splashing each other in the ocean, running down the streets, lying in the grass! The bride had 3 different dresses in the photos, two white and one purplish-red. Then she was wearing yet another dress pink flowered with a white shawl for the party. Second best part was the 3 love songs soundtrack playing on loop! The favorite of which was “Wo ai ni” meaning “I love you”. In true Chin-glish fashion they would alternate the line over and over in English and then Chinese but the best was on the repeat it became “wo ai ni, baby!” Paul translated for me that this means “he loves children”. Oh China!
When the couple was announced they came in and everyone clapped. The wedding director said a few words and Paul translated that the couple would have a 10 minute kiss! I excitedly got the camera out, however when they leaned in to kiss, it was more like a 2 second peck on the lips. I was so disappointed! Then the bride and groom gave a small speech. The bride said welcome to everyone and then said, “and a special welcome to our American friends! We are so happy to have you here with us!” Paul leaned over and told me to stand up, but I said I was sure I stood out enough that people knew who the foreigners were without me standing! The dinner was very fancy, like any other Chinese banquet I had been too. Way too much food and impossible to serve and eat gracefully with my poor chopstick skills. The bride and groom came over to toast and drink with each table. I told the bride that the American tradition was that the couple kisses every time the guests tap on the glass and I was promised a 10 minute kiss and was very disappointed. She explained it was all her husband’s fault! That he was shy in front of his family!
No kissing at weddings! Then why are the Chinese girls laying all over their boyfriends on the subway whenever I walk by?
The next weekend I got another wedding invitation as a guest to one of my teachers. The bride was a previous student at our school and her younger brother was one of my current students. My teacher friend told me that the girl was poor but she thought the groom had a lot of money because the wedding would be very big and expensive. Again I was torn as to what I should wear! Finally I decided to wear teacher clothes should be safe!
Turns out it was on a ship in sea world, this over priced area with all western bars and restaurants in Shekou. We get there early and see they have a video guest book and force me to say something, even though I know no Chinese and have never met the couple! So my teacher feeds me a Chinese line and I practice a few times before telling them I’m ready, then I deliver my line and make them stop and start the recording over because everyone around me busted up laughing. I hope they know how to edit this big otherwise they are going to have me on film giving everyone the evil eye as their permanent wedding memory! So once all of the guests start arriving we met up with one of the other teachers from our school and 3 boys who where previous students who sat with us. The wedding planner guy announces the groom and he comes through the crowd singing a love song karaoke style! I love it! I lean over to my friend and ask if this is normal for a Chinese wedding and she says she has never seen it before. That was her answer to most everything that night. They had a buffet which my coworkers were not pleased at all with. The boys all ran up to the buffet and brought us back plates piled with food to share family style like in a Chinese restaurant! I thought it was so funny they didn’t know how to do a buffet! I kept trying to get up and get things myself and my teacher pushed me down and said “let the boys help you!” Weird. They even had a bouquets toss and karaoke reception, which was not typical for a Chinese wedding.
They had a different take on the 10 minute kiss than the previous wedding. They called it a 10 second kiss and the couple was on a stage area in the middle of the dinning area. So they had a quick 10 second kiss as the planner counted and everyone clapped. Then he said well no one could see from behind them so they should turn around while kissing! I like to refer to this as dance kissing! Just like in the movies. Every time he started counting people would scream out “tai kuai le! Too fast!” and he would count slower or start over. Or something would make the bride laugh and they would stop kissing and have to start over. I loved it! Now that’s a real party!
It is so crazy to me how well the Chinese men treat their women. These college boys are at their classmate’s wedding and they chose to sit with their teachers from 10 years ago and run around getting them refills? When I see couples together the men carry the women’s purses! Like over their shoulders. Random men on the bus stand up and offer me their seats! They don’t really put their arms around their girl friends but they hold their necks or one shoulder. And in china you never split the check the men pay for everything! That’s why people think we are crazy when its time to pay and all the foreigners start exchanging money! But then again sometimes I have to dodge men spitting on the ground right in front of me and no one has held a door for me since I got here. SO you win some you loose some!
So I find out that the actual ceremony is a small private event and everyone is invited to a dinner after to celebrate. The best part was the slide show of the wedding shots! I literally cried they were so beautiful. It was all the bride and groom running around China being in love! Splashing each other in the ocean, running down the streets, lying in the grass! The bride had 3 different dresses in the photos, two white and one purplish-red. Then she was wearing yet another dress pink flowered with a white shawl for the party. Second best part was the 3 love songs soundtrack playing on loop! The favorite of which was “Wo ai ni” meaning “I love you”. In true Chin-glish fashion they would alternate the line over and over in English and then Chinese but the best was on the repeat it became “wo ai ni, baby!” Paul translated for me that this means “he loves children”. Oh China!
When the couple was announced they came in and everyone clapped. The wedding director said a few words and Paul translated that the couple would have a 10 minute kiss! I excitedly got the camera out, however when they leaned in to kiss, it was more like a 2 second peck on the lips. I was so disappointed! Then the bride and groom gave a small speech. The bride said welcome to everyone and then said, “and a special welcome to our American friends! We are so happy to have you here with us!” Paul leaned over and told me to stand up, but I said I was sure I stood out enough that people knew who the foreigners were without me standing! The dinner was very fancy, like any other Chinese banquet I had been too. Way too much food and impossible to serve and eat gracefully with my poor chopstick skills. The bride and groom came over to toast and drink with each table. I told the bride that the American tradition was that the couple kisses every time the guests tap on the glass and I was promised a 10 minute kiss and was very disappointed. She explained it was all her husband’s fault! That he was shy in front of his family!
No kissing at weddings! Then why are the Chinese girls laying all over their boyfriends on the subway whenever I walk by?
The next weekend I got another wedding invitation as a guest to one of my teachers. The bride was a previous student at our school and her younger brother was one of my current students. My teacher friend told me that the girl was poor but she thought the groom had a lot of money because the wedding would be very big and expensive. Again I was torn as to what I should wear! Finally I decided to wear teacher clothes should be safe!
Turns out it was on a ship in sea world, this over priced area with all western bars and restaurants in Shekou. We get there early and see they have a video guest book and force me to say something, even though I know no Chinese and have never met the couple! So my teacher feeds me a Chinese line and I practice a few times before telling them I’m ready, then I deliver my line and make them stop and start the recording over because everyone around me busted up laughing. I hope they know how to edit this big otherwise they are going to have me on film giving everyone the evil eye as their permanent wedding memory! So once all of the guests start arriving we met up with one of the other teachers from our school and 3 boys who where previous students who sat with us. The wedding planner guy announces the groom and he comes through the crowd singing a love song karaoke style! I love it! I lean over to my friend and ask if this is normal for a Chinese wedding and she says she has never seen it before. That was her answer to most everything that night. They had a buffet which my coworkers were not pleased at all with. The boys all ran up to the buffet and brought us back plates piled with food to share family style like in a Chinese restaurant! I thought it was so funny they didn’t know how to do a buffet! I kept trying to get up and get things myself and my teacher pushed me down and said “let the boys help you!” Weird. They even had a bouquets toss and karaoke reception, which was not typical for a Chinese wedding.
They had a different take on the 10 minute kiss than the previous wedding. They called it a 10 second kiss and the couple was on a stage area in the middle of the dinning area. So they had a quick 10 second kiss as the planner counted and everyone clapped. Then he said well no one could see from behind them so they should turn around while kissing! I like to refer to this as dance kissing! Just like in the movies. Every time he started counting people would scream out “tai kuai le! Too fast!” and he would count slower or start over. Or something would make the bride laugh and they would stop kissing and have to start over. I loved it! Now that’s a real party!
It is so crazy to me how well the Chinese men treat their women. These college boys are at their classmate’s wedding and they chose to sit with their teachers from 10 years ago and run around getting them refills? When I see couples together the men carry the women’s purses! Like over their shoulders. Random men on the bus stand up and offer me their seats! They don’t really put their arms around their girl friends but they hold their necks or one shoulder. And in china you never split the check the men pay for everything! That’s why people think we are crazy when its time to pay and all the foreigners start exchanging money! But then again sometimes I have to dodge men spitting on the ground right in front of me and no one has held a door for me since I got here. SO you win some you loose some!
You really are having some memorble experiences. You sound good sweetie! I miss you muchly but am glad things are going well. Enjoy!! Love, Teri
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