There is Country and then there is Countryside

I went to see the countryside outside of Guilin city to spend Chinese New Years with my friend’s parents. My friend, Daniel, kept telling me - just so you know there are is not heat in my parents’ house. And I told him - no worries I lived in Ohio. He tells me his family is farmers, no problem my Granny lives on a farm. He tells me they are slaughtering a pig for the holiday and I say my dad was a pig farmer growing up. I have been on the farm, seen the animals, played on the dirt road; I was ready for anything.

I was wrong. There is a huge difference between US country and the Chinese countryside. Even without snow on the ground the mountains felt like I was constantly standing in a freezer! And the worst part was that there is no escape. In the US I would run from my warm house to my warm car and then to a warm store. But in China nowhere is warm. I honestly think it was colder inside the house than outside. The walls were all mud bricks and bare concrete floors. The only source of warmth was a small fire. It sounds like a horrible idea, but they took a metal table with a big blanket on top of it and set it on top of the fire. In my mind that was a fire hazard but this seemed to be standard Chinese winter procedure. We all huddled around on our stools with our legs and hands under the blanket. I was actually quite toasted except that after awhile your feet felt like they were burning and your back and shoulders were still exposed to the cold and shivering. It’s like half of my body was in Africa and the rest in Russia!

Another first for me was the outhouse. I often wake up in the middle of the night and don’t want to get out of my warm bed to pee. This is taken to a completely different level when you have to walk outside to the end of the driveway to use the outhouse. China bathrooms are always a bit of a pain for me in general because the squatters require a lot of balance and concentration and you aren’t supposed to put the used toilet paper in the bowl; you are supposed to throw it away in the trash can. I often break this rule because the American in my just can’t stand the thought of my dirty toilet paper in an open trash can. The outhouse was another surprise.  It was built on a little hill so you have to climb up 2 muddy steps and then straddle an opening between the bamboo sticks.  This half asleep, in the dark, balancing a flashlight is quite a task. I will admit to breaking the toilet paper rule until I found out his parents empty out the bucket under the outhouse every so often and use it for fertilizer.  Just Yuck.

Meal time we would remove the table-blanket and place the pot to boil our food on top of the fire.  I have never been a big fan of hot pot, but it is apparently the best thing to eat in the winter to keep your body warm. So it turns out we had hot pot everyday, for every meal the rest of my trip there. If you have never done hot pot (which I hadn’t before living in China) it’s basically a soup that they bring to boil on the table and then you add raw meats and veggies as you are eating. Everyone picks out whatever they want into their own bowls. The trick in the countryside is there wasn’t really any light so you couldn’t see what you were grabbing out of the pot until it was almost to your mouth. And by that time it is pretty difficult to politely put it back in the pot. This is how I came to try all kinds of new animal parts, intestines, liver, lungs and other unrecognizable parts of the pig, chicken or duck. They could never understand why I became full so much faster than the rest of the family and would continually fill my bowl every time I took a bite.

One example of the extreme hospitality was when I was sitting around the table with Daniel and his mom. They had just slaughtered a whole pig (which would last them 6 months) and a duck 2 days before. There was a rooster and a hen that would often wonder into the house before we could shoo them away. I asked Daniel why the hen was so much fatter than the rooster it was about 3 times the size of the rooster! His mom saw my gestures and asked Daniel to translate, “She likes the chicken?” I smiled and the next thing I knew the mom grabbed the rooster by the neck and carried him outside. I asked Daniel what happened and he said, “you like the chicken, so she will kill him for you.” It was too late to take it back by the time I stood up to see him struggling on the ground outside.  I was shocked at the misunderstanding but I had to be in awe of the fact that I could just look at the chicken and his family would cook it for me. With no hesitation, they literally would have done anything to make me happy.

I had to admire their life style. The most shocking thing to me is that I know they have money. In Chinese culture it is normal for the sons to financially support their parents. I know for a fact that Daniel and his brother both send enough money home for his parents to live very comfortably, but they choose to live modestly. They are simple people and don’t need or want a lot. Daniel told me he yells at his parents sometimes as says, “Why don’t you use the money I sent you!” They reply, “We are saving it for you or our grandchildren someday.” So I asked him, “Why do you still send them money if they don’t want it.” And he replied, “I am a good son, it’s my duty.”  Even if you don’t understand or agree with it; the sacrifices that both Daniel and his parents make are admirable. I understand now why people talk about family values as a major part of Chinese culture. Before, I thought that was silly because every culture respects their family members, but the focus in China is unshakable. It was very encouraging to see.