Korean Wedding

The trip to Korea really did sneak up on me. My friend Pina has been talking about her upcoming wedding off and on and then one day she was like so we decided on December 12 so you will need to ask off work from the 11 to 17^th. No question, just the facts! I wouldn’t have gladly gone either way but the fact that I got this information 2 weeks before the trip added a bit of panic! I’m lucky that she also added a by the way it’s cold there. I was thinking yea I’ll bring a jacket, No its -10 degrees cold, -10 degrees CELCIUS! They don’t have those numbers in DC, much less Shenzhen, so I may have been slightly unprepared.

I also got another surprise when Anthony, the Korean groom, called me and asked if I would sing at the wedding as a surprise for Pina! We have KTVed often, so he had mostly heard me sing rap songs. I was glad he trusted me not to ruin his wedding; my one condition was that I would only sing in English and his condition was that I not sing Rihanna’s S&M. I chose a few songs that I could sing and sent him an email to choose his favorite. When I didn’t hear anything I decided I would just pick one assuming he was probably busy since he often stated, “ I don’t know, I’ve never been the groom before!” The day I was leaving for Korea I got a call from Anthony about dinner time saying, “Hey I decided what song you should sing!” 2 days before the wedding, 2 hours before I have to leave for the airport, being panic mode. He wanted me to do “If I Aint Got You” by Alicia Keys. I had sang it for KTV with the couple before but KTV and wedding singing is much different! So my last precious hours in Shenzhen I was trying to find the accompany track on line, with Daniel translating since it is all in Chinese BTW, and frantically trying to pack making sure I wouldn’t forget anything.

So leaving for the airport was a panic but I got it all done. My plane left from hong kong at 1am, so I had to cross the border before it closes and catch another bus before they stop running and all that jazz, which I have never done by myself before. I was stressing the whole time, rushing through everything, elbowing people out of the way in the crowds until I get to the airport at 10:30pm. Perfect timing. Then I check in and see that the plane is delayed to 3am because the snow is so bad in Korea. All that rushing for nothing. But the best part about hongkong, no firewalls! No problem, facebook can entertain me for hours. The thing I didn’t think about was that the plugs in hong kong are different then main land china and an hour of wifi and my phone is completely die. I go to my gate and sprawl out across 3 chairs as they announce the flight is pushed back to 4, then 5, then finally 6am before we boarded the plane! Once I get to Korea the plane is for Anthony’s uncle to pick me and 2 of their other friends up at the airport. Luckily Taro found me and we roamed the Seoul airport together. Between the 2 of us all we could figure out was that we were to meet at the Dunkin Donuts (which there were 20 of) and wait for his uncle. None of the numbers we had for pina or Anthony were working, so all we could do was sit patiently and hope someone would call our name. I let Taro do all the worrying and turned my attention to the most delicious breakfast of my life! Cheese bagel…wait for it… with cheese. DElicious! China has a definitely lack of Cheese so I crave it all the time! I didn’t even realize we were stranded, left to freeze to death in the airport, I was in cheese heaven!

Anyway we finally saw another blonde woman calling out “Christina?” and I figured that was close enough! Her name was Yana and she was an older Swedish woman that lived in the same building as Pina when they were in Beijing. She would later become my trip roommate, so there will be more stories of her to come. The “uncle” was actually a family friend of Anthony’s who looked to be in his 30s, which didn’t make sense since Anthony is 35. But he was super sweet and anywhere his English was lacking he made up for with sign language, my personal favorite. The plan was for Uncle to drive us around the city until the last guest arrived a 10pm but he decided instead to take us to a Bus to Anthony’s hometown about 4 hours south of Seoul. Uncle was so nervous to leave us at the bus station and tried his best to find us a local “babysitter” who was waiting for the same bus. We finally convinced him we could handle it and he ran back to the car before he could get a ticket for double parking, 1^st mayor difference from China they actually give parking tickets in Korea.

When we get to Anthony’s hometown the bus driver let us borrow his cell phone to call for a ride home, crazy nice, and the wedding couple comes to pick us up! We then go to our first Korean meal and realize that Koreans sit on the floor and take their shoes off at the door, even in restaurants not just at home. This is difficult first because I am used to sitting down to take my shoes on and off which is not an option because you are standing in the small double door way, WITH 4 other people trying to take their shoes off too. AND it is snowing like crazy so my shoes are wet with snow and others’ had the same issue and their snowy shoes have now melted and puddle on the floor that I have to step through now in my sock feet. Then we get to the sitting on the floor. There is a little square cushion on the floor that I am suposta fit on too and somehow slide my legs under the small table, which doesn’t happen, so you end up sitting Indian style, which is only comfortable for so long, and I’m not a fan. And Korean food, spicy. Even when they tell you it’s not, spicy. You see the noodles swimming in red sauce and they say, “no, it’s not spicy, just a little flavor” LIES! Don’t be fooled.

By 11pm we arrive at Anthony’s parents’ house and he pulls me and Pina aside to translate the ceremony. He read what the pastor will say in Korean, tells the meaning in English, I do the English to English translation, and Pina translates the English into Italian. Sounds easy, but we are all tired and the script is just… strange. They decided to do the Traditional Korean style wedding so Anthony had never seen it done and even had to ask his dad to explain some of the Korean words that aren’t in use anymore. So his English version involved a good deal of pictures and sound effects to try and get the point across. For example! The first section the couple bows to the bird. So he doesn’t know this English word and describes it as “the bird at the beach with the caw caw!” with an accompanying stick figure drawing! English to English translation: Seagull. It was a long night.

The script is step by step directions 1^st the groom bows once then the bride bows twice and so on. The plan was that the pastor would give the line in Korean, then her Italian friend would read the Italian translation and I would read the English so Pina would know what she was suposta do.  At the wedding ceremony the next morning it turns out we are outside in the area between four temples. All the guests stood on the temple steps which formed a square in the middle that the ceremony table was set up in. Anthony gave the script to one of his Korean friends to help me and Enzo keep in time with the translations. However his friend spoke very little English so Anthony told him to just use Chinese with us! Just follow this with me, we are in Korea and the Korean is telling us in Chinese, when to translate the Italian and then English. Awesome! However, no one told the Korean pastor the translation plans. So by the time he took his first breath for us to read the 1^st translation he had already give 5 steps. Luckily the Korean bride has 2 assistants because you can barely move in the traditional dress. But they literally pushed and pulled her like a rag doll through the ceremony because the Italian and English directions were so far off and she couldn’t understand any of the Korean!

And for clarification the “bird at the beach with the ‘caw caw!’” ended up being a duck! How? So in Korea ducks mate for life and are a sign of lifelong commitment, not seagulls. They are like the western idea of turtle doves. No country likes seagulls, I should have known.

 At the end of the ceremony my accompany track started playing and I already had the mic from my butchered translation so I just started singing from where I was standing in the front of the audience and Anthony motioned for me to come down with them. So I did the slow dramatic song walk looking at the couple the whole time. I felt like a rock star, I love a cordless mic. And then the last chorus they pulled me to stand between the couple and we swayed together. It was awesome! I switched up the words but I don’t think anyone noticed and most people there didn’t speak English anyways so I could have said anything I wanted! Pina was completely shocked and kinda let her relax after feeling so lost in the ceremony.

Then the couple went inside one of the main temple where a sitting area was set up. I really liked this part. All of the important guest came in and sat with them one at a time. Some gave gifts or shared some symbolic foods and it seemed like they gave some wedding tips or good wishes. Starting with the parents, then uncles, then family friends, and all the others could stand just outside the room and take pictures. But there was still that separation that made it feel more intimate. I waited around with the couple while they did the wedding photos and everything and then we went off to the reception. I was in the foreigner group so we stuck close by the couple for the whole trip. It was Pina’s mom, brother and uncle then her Enzo, her Italian friend she met in Beijing, Yana, Taro and me.

I don’t know why I was surprised when we got to the restaurant and there were no chairs. But I was. For some reason I imagined my being in a skirt would change the sitting on the floor culture I had experienced the day before. It was also not like the reception I had envisioned by western standards. In the west meals are a very social thing but it doesn’t seem to be that way in Korea. The wedding lunch seemed more like the hospitality of giving someone food that shows up at meal time, rather than a celebration. As soon as we got there many guest had already finished and immediately came to say their goodbyes to the couple. I sat at the foreigner table and as you can imagine the couple was pretty busy. We had an extra person at our table which caused some confusion with one person missing their rice, another without a plate and so on. I got up the strength to call over the waitress and try my best to mime our requests. She responded by taking a deep breath and answering very slowly and clearly… in Korean. We smiled until she scurried away. When I caught eyes with my friends we bust out laughing at the same time. She was so patient and so clear with her answer but we were completely lost! So as I learned very quickly in China, when in doubt just smile and nod.