Teri Mitchell

Today is the funeral of my sister from another mister’s mom, Teri. A few days before New Years, she lost her 8 month battle with cancer.  It’s hard to be so far away and miss my chance to say goodbye. It almost doesn’t seem real when you read about it in emails; It was a few days before I said it out loud. My first thought was why not 1 month later! I just wanted 1 more month. A month later she would have been a grandma.  A month later I would be back in America introducing her to my new boyfriend. I had promised this summer that I would bring him to South Carolina to get her approval.

 More than anyone else, Teri really saw herself in my travels and adventures in China. She was one of the few people that shared my love of adventure and experiencing new people and cultures. After my first year in China she sat me down and shared some of her hard learned lessons in travels. We talked about how easy it is to get wrapped up in the newness and excitement and think, ‘I love this’, and ‘everything is so great!’ But it fades quickly as soon as the newness wears off. So you have to protect yourself and me mindful of the company you keep. She told me how she knows how to size someone up so quickly, but her country upbringing made her too trusting. It was like she was inside my head! She knew exactly what I was doing and thinking without me saying a word. “Oh, I know little one!” she would say.

 That was her nickname for me “little one” given to me long after I was little. But I loved it! When she stayed with us in my old apartment, Amy and Nora would be cooking in the kitchen and she turned to me and say, “Run away little one, before they put you to work!” Even in my own house she let me be the baby!

My last visit with Teri was this past summer. She was already in a lot of pain, but she really pushed herself to spend time and  go out with Nora, Amy and me. We went to see the Snow White movie but it was sold out so we ended up seeing Magic Mike. I being in China and never seeing any of the previews, assumed it was a basketball movie. I assumed wrong! At first it was really uncomfortable to watch a stripper movie with my friend’s mom, but she is not a regular mom! She is the mom that your friends want you to invite to parties. The mom that embarrasses you but makes everyone else love it! (Singing Limp Biskit at Adam’s Birthday Party). Or how she talked about loving those ba-two-k boys(B2K). Or how she would stop a perfect stranger to tell them that their baby needs to be in a proper car seat.  And she was never afraid to say exactly what she was thinking, with the same storytelling and descriptive flare that I love about Nora too! Magic Mike was definitely not our group’s favorite movie, but Teri’s side comments and stories afterward made it a great time.

And that same visit I told her about so trouble I was having with an ex-boyfriend and even though she could barely keep her eyes open, she was ready to take action. If I had told her a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to stop her. She is one strong women. And she has the connections to get things done. I have no doubt that anyone who has ever known Teri would do anything for her. No one takes advantage of her loved ones, and I am so lucky to be one of those people. But with Teri, it wasn’t just her family that she cared about. She was able to size them up, but her heart went out to them as well. I remember her talking about the random people she met on my Greyhound up to Virgina. She started off complaining that she just has that face that people think they can open up to her even though she tried everything she could to signal that she didn’t want to talk. But then she continues telling the guy’s story and you can tell she really does feel their pain and care about what there were telling her no matter how hard she tried not to care. It was just her nature to connect with people.

We always want more time. I truly regret I wasn’t there for her and Nora more. Even though I am in China, that’s no excuse. I should have called, I should have written. I should have let her know how much she means to me last month, not assuming I would have time a month later. But it is selfish that I want more time. She was suffering and now she is free. I truly believe she is in heaven right now. And It is my prayer that she knows she is loved and missed.

My thoughts and sympathies go out to Nora, Chuck, Maria, Jimmy and Adam. May you take comfort in the knowledge that just as you did everything you could to take care of Teri on earth, Her heavenly Father is taking care of her now. But I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

We will all miss you, Teri. I love you and Goodbye.